Why Many Black and White Dating Relationships Don’t Work
The sad fact is, many black and white relationships start out with a sizzle and then end in an explosion of grief. Why does this happen? The attraction is real, at least at first, then eventually you descend into arguing, fighting and maybe even a breakup. What is the cause for unhappy endings with black women white men dating or white women dating black men?
To be fair, sometimes certain couples are incompatible and it has nothing to do with race or cultural differences. Maybe they are simply a bad match in terms of their personality and values, even though the physical attraction is strong.
Sometimes, however, there are issues in interracial relationships that can make it challenging for you. Consider some scenarios and how to deal with them.
1.You want to flirt with interracial dating, but are not committed.
It’s pretty common to desire someone physically but then take a step back when you realize commitment is a serious issue. There’s no way to avoid this and you should definitely not settle for a relationship that you’re not passionate about. However, be careful not to make any promises you can’t keep or lead a person on romantically if you’re just looking to have fun.
2. Their family or your family is getting to you.
Sometimes families and friends can be critical. We say it doesn’t matter what they think, but deep down it does. You have to determine in advance that you have the strength, bravery, and most of all the patience to deal with differing opinions. You can’t easily disown your family for thinking the way that they do. But you also can’t let their opinions subtly influence you in ways that may hurt your partner’s feelings. The best thing to do is to make an honest assessment of yourself and determine what you want in a relationship and what you can give. You should also determine in advance what to say to people who may not approve of your relationship.
3. One partner is not supportive enough.
Understand that when family tension is apparent, you need to be strong and very emotionally supportive of your partner. They may feel attacked or undervalued. If you are oblivious to the negativity coming from a parent, friend or relative they will sense this and the relationship will be strained. Sometimes it might not even be family. Sometimes it might be strangers out in public or even the minority community harassing you or your partner. Make sure your partner feels loved and supported.
4. Don’t let jealousy destroy you.
You may be surprised to learn that some other interracial couples, or individuals who date outside their race, may be judgmental or try to influence you. They usually do this because of their own experiences, while not stopping to consider that your circumstances are probably very different than theirs. So always be polite, but do keep in mind that when friends try to evaluate your relationship and give you unsolicited advice it can often cause more problems than it cures.
5. Don’t buy into stereotypes.
Stereotypes may be based on a sliver of truth, but that “truth” never holds for all. Sadly, so many people try to act “against stereotype” or sometimes they may even want their partner to be more of a stereotype. This is all just ridiculous and the only way to ensure your relationship survives the long-term is to stop worrying so much about how other people act and instead focus on each.
Keeping these interracial dating tips in mind will help you avoid obstacles along the way to your happiness.