It’s easy to feel attraction to another partner, but not always so easy to follow up on that interest! There is a bit of a process, going from attraction to asking someone out, and then seeking a long-term relationship. How can you go about following up on your attraction to singles of other races without making it weird?
Here are some ideas of interracial dating.
1. Don’t be ashamed. Date openly and proudly.
If you’ve always been attracted to a certain race, ethnicity and culture, you have no reason to be ashamed, scared or shy. Chances are, you do have an understanding family. You also live in a society that is slowly becoming more diverse and more open-minded to all varieties and flavours of love.
Unfortunately, some people are so afraid of what society (or their family) thinks, they treat their great date as a dirty little secret. This isn’t respectful of your date, or even of yourself. Don’t date anyone that you don’t truly care about and feel an attraction to. And avoid dating anyone who is ashamed to admit what they want. Being proud of yourself and your attraction will only help you progress in a serious relationship.
It starts very simple…make small talk with that handsome or beautiful stranger. Don’t lunge too quickly. Don’t gush, don’t harass and don’t fast-forward to intimacy. Be kind, be smart and be confident. Be proud of your attraction and of yourself.
2. Be careful about investing too much emotion into someone who’s just experimenting.
Part of interracial dating IS experimenting. There may be many partners you meet who have an attraction to your race or ethnicity but may not actually be looking for a serious commitment. Some singles may fantasise or fetishize about a person of a certain race. But their interest is only limited to sexual experimentation. There’s nothing real beyond that, and you (or your partner) may be disappointed to find this out. Therefore being upfront and honest is the most important thing, at least it comes to avoided hurt feelings.
3. Battle racism but don’t PLAY with interracial dating.
Another problem that happens is becoming too wrapped up in race relations and not actually paying enough attention to the person you’re supposed to love. Don’t use your partner as a conversation piece just to shock your folks. Don’t surprise your partner by popping into your parents’ place. Give everyone adequate warning. Inform your partner of any issues that might come up. (i.e. the dad who accidentally says politically incorrect things)
For that matter, you also want to make sure that you’re not actually attracted “to the race” but still lacking in love for the individual. Race is not really a part of falling in love. It may trigger attraction and start a friendship. But in the end, you must really know if you love this one person above all others. Simply being attracted to a race, but not in love with the person of the heart, the person’s unique personality, will not make a happy marriage. Being in love with a person for their good qualities, while also having a strong attraction to his/her body and culture, will make for a stronger marriage and more lasting interracial relationship.