You know there has been plenty of success in interracial relationships. The number of interracial marriages is on the rise. You have interracial friends who are absolutely in love with each other. Yet all your attempts to find a good interracial relationship through an Internet dating site have failed. Maybe you’re not making the right approach.
This is not an Experiment
Nobody likes to feel like a guinea pig, so if you’re approaching interracial dating as an experiment, you’re probably going to fail. Show interest in the person’s hobbies, pastimes and opinions. Share something of yourself in your exchange. There may be ethnic or cultural differences between you and your date. Learn something about them. Ask questions. Be willing to participate in a cultural event or try ethnic foods. You’ll discover, as an experiment, it sucks, but as a participant in a new experience, it’s wonderful.
We’re not all like that
It’s not much fun when someone makes an assumption of the kind of person you are based on your race and background. Even when there is some element of truth, it’s still a generalization and we aren’t cookie cutter figures. Refrain from saying things like, “I heard your people”. We’re all one people, and there’s really no yours or mine. Remember the last time you protested, “We’re not all like that” before stereotyping your interracial date.
I’m Interracial, too
Interracial dating isn’t just about black and white dating. If a white, Russian woman is dating a Hispanic, it’s interracial. Interracial dating can be a black person with an Asian or a Native American with an Italian. A large percentage of the population is of mixed race, crossing the lines liberally between all racial groups.
Please Stop Obsessing
It’s great that you’re developing an interracial relationship, but your date didn’t accept you to prove something. There’s no need to adopt all aspects of your date’s customs and culture, only what you are comfortable with and have agreed upon with your date. The chances are, your date wants to absorb a little of what you have to offer. Don’t worry about places to go or places you think you shouldn’t go. Most public places have become very accepting of interracial dating and will only notice you if you intentionally draw attention to yourselves.
You Haven’t Solved the World’s Problems
Just because you’ve begun to date interracially, doesn’t mean you’re an expert on racial issues. If you’ve overcome the cultural and ethnic obstacles, you should be proud, but no prouder than anyone in a relationship that has settled their differences to arrive at a mutual understanding. What you have done is become part of the bridge that will eventually bring about a more racially integrated world.
My Ego is just Fine
People don’t accept interracial dates because they hate themselves or hate their race. Usually, it’s because they became interested in who that person is and the things that person can offer for a genuinely rewarding relationship. At one time, interracial couples had to face a great deal of condemnation for the society they lived in, and it took a great deal of courage to stay together. Love was the motivation and it continues to be today. Their racial identity is doing just fine.
Just Relax and Enjoy
Don’t place any undue expectations or racial tensions on your interracial date. Just let it progress naturally. Become a part of your date’s world and share something of your own. Keep your mind open and welcome in a beautiful relationship.