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Tips for Interracial Couples to Stay Together Long Term

Finding someone who you want to have a long term future with is both scary and exciting. There are bound to be endless challenges and many compromises. This is true in any relationship. However, when the relationship is interracial, there are many more things to be mindful of.

Having a long term future in an interracial relationship is completely possible. It has been done by many before and can undoubtedly be done by you. Here are some tips to you help you find the right pathway to long term happiness in your interracial relationship.

Remain open minded

Even after you’ve had all the big talks about your different racial backgrounds and your ethnic identity, you still need to remain open minded. The longer you stay together, the more insight you’re going to get into each other’s cultural practices. This means that new issues may arise along the way. You always need to embrace these with an open mind.

Never stop learning

You have the unique chance to learn from someone you care about. This can be in regards to culture, language, and patience with society. As you and your partner continue on your pathway in your relationship, never stop learning from one another. Take the time to appreciate the lessons they can teach you and continue being happy to learn from this great source.

Keep being aware of society

It is important to understand the society you are living in. Although society shouldn’t be allowed to judge your relationship, it will. Understanding societal context can help you and your partner combat the ignorant comments and racial misjudgments. Doing this together will help keep you strong and bonded.

Talk about the future

If you’re in it for the long term, you need to broach the subject of the future. This often means marriage and kids. In terms of marriage, talk about what kind of ceremony you want and how you will incorporate both cultures. Discuss how a wedding will affect your wider families and what weddings and marriage mean in each of your cultures. Talking about kids is also important. Yes, you are going to have adorable mixed race babies. But how is culture going to affect their lives. What emphasis will you put on ethnic identity? Will you actively raise them in both cultures? These conversations may seem intimidating, but they need to happen for a long term mixed race relationships.

Accept each other’s families

Whatever the family dynamics are, you and your partner need to accept each other’s. This means embracing cultural celebrations with the family. If there’s a language barrier, it means working past this and finding a means of communication. Learning to enjoy the company of your partner’s family, and vice versa, is incredibly important in having a future together. You don’t want family to become a source of angst in your long term future together, so it is better to accept them early on in the game.

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Black Women Dating White Men – Is it a Fad Or is This Mixed up Trend Here to Stay?

Interracial couple sharing a phone in a train station while wait under an umbrella in a rainy day

Interracial dating has been a taboo subject in the past, even more so if it involves black women dating white men. Many of these interracial couples are often stigmatized and not generally accepted in society. However, with the rising popularity of movies which feature black women dating white men such as ‘Lakeview Terrace’, ‘Something New’, ‘Guess Who’ and many others, there has been increased acceptance for these couples in mainstream media. Despite a few people being bothered by black-white dating, people are increasingly changing their attitude and becoming more open-minded towards these interracial relationships.

So far, one of the most prevalent challenges a black woman faces while dating a white man is the cultural difference between the two races. In fact, it is not uncommon for the couple to be faced with vehement societal pressure and many deep-rooted prejudices. More often, the greatest opposition is bound to come from the couple’s family members and even close friends. In such cases, the family tends to openly oppose the interracial relationship since they fear that it will paint a negative image of the family in society. Many families are afraid of being judged by friends and extended family members when one of their children dates a person who is black. They also fret about their grand children being mixed race.  All these concerns are common and will probably be mentioned by the family of someone involved in an interracial relationship.

What about the societal pressure that comes from the black community when their daughter is dating a white man? The black woman will be judged as being a traitor and a “sell-out” who has abandoned her brothers. While men from the same community abandon the black women to date women from other races, it is ironic that the women involved in interracial dating in the same community will be ostracized. It is usually a common expectation that the black women dating white men should have waited for black men to return to them and be satisfied with being their partners instead of moving ahead to expanding their love options and entering into an interracial relationship. This double standard is completely unfair, since black men are known to openly state that they only date white women.

While it is true to note that many interracial relationships are faced with some trials and tribulations, there are quite a number of them that have successfully carried on with their relationship and are happily married. For such couples, they opted to ignore the external pressures and instead, move ahead to discover the many amazing benefits that came from learning, accepting each other’s culture and subsequently choosing to live a happy life together.

Interracial dating sites have been one of the major contributors of successful black women-white men relationships. With a plethora of dating sites created with the sole aim of connecting black women who want to date white men with white men who want to date black women, couples can link-up via the internet and successfully be able to establish a relationship. Today, interracial couples are connecting from all over the globe 24/7 and finding the partner of their dreams.

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Questions interracial couples don’t want to hear

Interracial marriage used to be illegal around 50 years ago in the United States, though now things have changed. People have become more accepting of interracial dating, but there will still be a few people who will make the interracial couple uncomfortable by asking them difficult questions. Sometimes people are genuinely concerned and ask such questions, but it may still be hard for the interracial couple to answer them. This is especially true if they are just in the initial phase and are bombarded with questions. Here are some questions interracial couples are tired of hearing and may not be comfortable answering.

1. What does your family think about your partner?

This is a very personal question and you should definitely not ask this if you hardly know the couple. Family views of an interracial relationship are always complicated and tangled and it is uncomfortable bringing up these issues. This is especially true if the families are not so happy with the relationship. Only ask this question if you are genuinely close to them and are concerned about them. And if they don’t answer, let it go and respect their privacy.

2. You are dating a white woman? Are they really trustworthy?

This applies to all questions involving stereotypes. Most people believe that people from a particular race will all have similar traits and categorize them according to stereotypes. Accordingly, people will believe anything about that person. For example: Asians don’t know how to drive well, white women can’t be trusted, Japanese are emotionless etc. These are all stereotypes. Everyone is different so avoid asking this question. Get to know the couple and then all your doubts will be put to rest.

3. Why go through all the trouble?

You may mean this with good intentions but it can sound racist. Telling people that they should try dating people from the same race sounds like you have something against the other race. Try to avoid asking this or rephrase it in a genuinely-concerned manner.

4. Won’t your children be bullied?

Have faith in today’s day and age and don’t just assume that people will make fun of children whose parents belong to different races. Even if they do, it is not the child’s fault but that of those immature people and it should not stop anyone from being with who they love. Children may be bullied for many reasons and race is not the be all and end all of every conversation.

5. Are you only into that particular race?

This is a very strange question to ask someone unless you are really close to them. People don’t choose a particular race when they are born and they certainly don’t choose an entire race to date. They may be slightly more attracted to people of a particular color or race but that doesn’t mean that they only date people from that race. The main thing to understand is that race is not the priority here; rather it is the mutual feeling of love and attraction.

These are some questions you should definitely avoid asking couples in an interracial relationship; or only ask them if you are sure they are comfortable enough to talk about it.

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Famours interracial couple (Halle Berry and Olivier Martinez)

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One of Hollywood’s favorite interracial couples is Halle Berry and Olivier Martinez. The beautiful star of the sci-fi series “Extant”, who plays biologist and astronaut Molly Woods seems to be all for interracial relationships – her character was in one and she’s been happily married for Olivier Martinez since 2013.

Olivier Martinez and Halle Berry married on July 13 at Chateau des Conde in France. The ceremony took place in a small chateau, where the civil union was followed by a religious ceremony at the chapel in the village. Halle Berry and Olivier Martinez had insisted on a small, intimate ceremony with only 60 guests, all of which were close friends and relatives. This is Halle Berry’s third marriage, she previously wed to baseball player David Justice and Eric Benett.

The couple met on the set of ‘Dark Tide” in 2010, dated for two years and got engaged in 2012. Halle, 46 at the time of the wedding, was also pregnant and gave birth to her son Maceo in 2014. She admitted she called her son her “miracle baby”, because neither she, nor Oliver Martinez expected him – she actually believed she was premenopausal!

Just recently, there have been some speculations that Berry and Martinez’ interracial relationship was heading for divorce. Tabloids claimed that the couple haven’t been seen together since December, 2014 and divorce was imminent. Halle Berry was spotted without her wedding band on set. The rumors turned out to be false, after she said she’d actually lost it in Mexico in January 2014. Halle Berry has no intentions of splitting or divorcing Olivier and Halle seem more than happy in their marriage and with their year-and-a-half-old son Maceo.