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6 things you should not do when you are seeking a black partner

Interracial dating can be a magical experience, but there are some lines that should never be crossed. This is especially true if you’re looking to date a black man or woman. While you should never feel like you’re constantly walking on eggshells when you’re in a relationship, there are certain topics and behaviors that are best avoided, especially at the start of your relationship. The following list will hopefully help you be a better partner to your black love interest.

  1. Talking about your races

This is something best avoided during the early stages and should only be discussed if your black partner starts the conversation. Conversing with a partner who you’ve been with for a while about this is fine, but it should never ever be a topic of discussion when meeting or visiting their family. You might think it will show how non-racist you are by mentioning it, but it’s more likely to offend.

  1. Stick to your native languages

Unless you were raised in the same area and speak the same languages, don’t try to strike up a conversation with someone in their native tongue if you aren’t a native speaker. At best, it can come off as being a bit clueless and condescending and at worst they might think that you are ridiculing them. Either way, avoid it for the first few dates.

  1. Try to avoid talking about cultural differences

This one is tricky. If you’ve been with your black partner for a while, you’ll have to partake in some of these cultural traditions sooner or later. By that point in time though, your relationship and mutual respect will be strong enough to withstand potential conflict.

At the beginning of the relationship or during the courting process, it’s a topic best avoided. Talking about cultural differences usually leads to arguments about whose culture does things better. Remember that there is no ‘better’ culture, only different cultures.

  1. Avoid taking them to events that you know they’ll dislike

This depends on who you are. Taking the extreme example, let’s assume you’re a redneck from a notoriously white and racist small town that regularly has square dancing events. Not only will your black partner not fit in at all, but they will most likely face harassment. You’ll struggle to find a black man or woman that enjoys square dancing too.

  1. Don’t marry before meeting each other’s families

Many people with black partners often get married before telling their parents that their partners are black. You might be scared of their reactions and this is fine, but they will definitely not be willing to accept your partner if you don’t include them in your wedding. Introduce your partner to your parents first and then let them decide whether or not they want to be a part of your lives. You’d be surprised to find how quickly prejudice fades away once they get to know your partner.

  1. Don’t be sensitive

You might think you’ve been discriminated against in the past, but you’ll be facing a lot more discrimination when you’re with your black partner. Be prepared for stares and rude comments, but don’t reply to them or let them affect you. Having a thick skin is crucial in an interracial relationship.

 

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What Can I Say to Family Who Doesn’t Like My Black or White Dating Partner?

In can be heartbreaking, scary and very stressful when you discover that your parent, relative or close friend doesn’t approve of your interracial relationship. Whether you’re a black man dating a white woman or a white woman dating a black man, even while living in progressive times, it really hurts your feelings knowing that a loved one doesn’t seem too thrilled about the idea.

What do you do? Is it time to be aggressive and confrontational and call them out on their racism? That’s certainly what many people do. But it’s almost always the wrong way to handle the situation. Instead, think practical. Start with these steps.

1. Ask yourself if it’s really about the black or white thing or if it’s something else.

You may be surprised to know that sometimes a family member may have doubts about you, not the person you’re bringing home. Talk to your family member and find out what’s really bothering them. Maybe they’re wondering if you’re serious, leading your partner on, or are being impulsive. This can be determined with just one conversation.

2. Are they worried about how others will see you?

Many conservative parents actually grew up supporting desegregation so don’t conclude that their apparently racist views are bad. Maybe they’re just worried about how other people will see you, or how hard society will be on you. Maybe they’re concerned about the family of your partner and foresee trouble. It is true…sometimes you do have to prepare yourself to deal with the prejudices or offensive jokes of other people.

3. Do they not like some other aspect of your partner, besides race?

Give your family members some credit. What if they simply see traits in your partner that you currently cannot see? It might not be a racial problem at all. Maybe they simply recognize patterns or foresee potential problems in the long-term, should you stay together. What might help is to talk to this family member and ask them what problems they might foresee.

4. Are they nervous about it because they’ve never had an interracial romance in the family?

This can sometimes happen and parents or family members that express doubt about interracial coupling are sometimes fearful, not hateful. Maybe they’re thinking that your romance will be controversial and aren’t aware that the majority of people are far more tolerant now than in the 1960s. In this case, just be patient with them and assure them that you can handle the responsibility. Encourage them to be respectful and supportive and that you take the romance very seriously. Your affirmations will go a long way in building trust and getting them used to the idea of some day having a black or white son in law / daughter in law.

Many people have found rewarding interracial relationships by searching online, using web tools like our newest Dating App. We offer local matching, interest and values matching, keyword matching, fast picture matching, and many other options. It’s never been easier to find a black or white partner and follow up on what your heart wants the most. Give it a try today!

 

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Questions interracial couples don’t want to hear

Interracial marriage used to be illegal around 50 years ago in the United States, though now things have changed. People have become more accepting of interracial dating, but there will still be a few people who will make the interracial couple uncomfortable by asking them difficult questions. Sometimes people are genuinely concerned and ask such questions, but it may still be hard for the interracial couple to answer them. This is especially true if they are just in the initial phase and are bombarded with questions. Here are some questions interracial couples are tired of hearing and may not be comfortable answering.

1. What does your family think about your partner?

This is a very personal question and you should definitely not ask this if you hardly know the couple. Family views of an interracial relationship are always complicated and tangled and it is uncomfortable bringing up these issues. This is especially true if the families are not so happy with the relationship. Only ask this question if you are genuinely close to them and are concerned about them. And if they don’t answer, let it go and respect their privacy.

2. You are dating a white woman? Are they really trustworthy?

This applies to all questions involving stereotypes. Most people believe that people from a particular race will all have similar traits and categorize them according to stereotypes. Accordingly, people will believe anything about that person. For example: Asians don’t know how to drive well, white women can’t be trusted, Japanese are emotionless etc. These are all stereotypes. Everyone is different so avoid asking this question. Get to know the couple and then all your doubts will be put to rest.

3. Why go through all the trouble?

You may mean this with good intentions but it can sound racist. Telling people that they should try dating people from the same race sounds like you have something against the other race. Try to avoid asking this or rephrase it in a genuinely-concerned manner.

4. Won’t your children be bullied?

Have faith in today’s day and age and don’t just assume that people will make fun of children whose parents belong to different races. Even if they do, it is not the child’s fault but that of those immature people and it should not stop anyone from being with who they love. Children may be bullied for many reasons and race is not the be all and end all of every conversation.

5. Are you only into that particular race?

This is a very strange question to ask someone unless you are really close to them. People don’t choose a particular race when they are born and they certainly don’t choose an entire race to date. They may be slightly more attracted to people of a particular color or race but that doesn’t mean that they only date people from that race. The main thing to understand is that race is not the priority here; rather it is the mutual feeling of love and attraction.

These are some questions you should definitely avoid asking couples in an interracial relationship; or only ask them if you are sure they are comfortable enough to talk about it.

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3 Tips For Interracial Couples Facing Judgment

 

We have come a long way since Martin Luther King had a dream and that dream has now become a reality in many ways. In other ways, there is still a lot of progress to be made.

Interracial dating has become common and most people do not really care about race when they like someone. Attraction and love knows no race. As they say “love is blind” which is absolutely true at this point in time. Interracial dating may seem like an enchanting tale of two people from different backgrounds and colors coming together to make love but sometimes they can find themselves facing a lot of judgment.

Judgment is nothing new, but it can be very disheartening for interracial couples. Unfortunately, we still have a long way to go before interracial couples will be as accepted as couples of the same race. This shouldn’t stop true love however. Follow these tips to make your interracial relationship stand the test of time and judgment.

1.Stop concerning yourself with others’ opinions

Everybody, no matter how much they say otherwise, care what people think about them to some degree. And that’s fine. This is what motivates us to do our best and look our best every day. In most cases, it’s positive motivation.
But in the case of interracial judgment, it becomes negative. Deciding not to care what people think about your interracial relationship is crucial. It might be hard at first, especially if the dissenters include your family and friends. The bottom line is that nobody’s opinion on your relationship should matter more than your own opinion and your partner’s opinion.

2.Build a strong relationship

Weak relationships break under pressure and as an interracial couple, you’ll be facing more pressure than most. Always remember what attracted you to your partner in the first place and let all the other politics of it fade away in your mind.

You’ll need a strong relationship to fight the prejudice. By showing people that interracial relationships can be strong, loving and secure just like any other relationship, you might even change a few minds about the matter.

3.Make effort to be a part of your partner’s family

This one can be difficult, especially if they’re extremely against your relationship. But in the case that they do grant you the opportunity to visit for a holiday or other event, make sure you show them that you’re willing to work with them in order to make your partner happy. Your partner should do the same.

By taking part in their customs and traditions and remaining as polite and friendly as you would be with your own parents, their preconceived notions of what your race group is like will be proven wrong and they’ll gradually start to accept the relationship. This doesn’t mean you should allow them to disrespect you. In the case that they’re completely racist and unwilling to change, it might be better to cut your losses. Your partner will understand.

In conclusion, it’s clear to see that we all still have a long way to go when it comes to combating racial bias. Hopefully by the time you have children it will be a thing of the past.

 

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The Best Locations For Interracial Dating

Are you dating a person of another race or you are inclined towards interracial dating? In both cases; this article will help you to have a better idea of the problems and solutions of such dating. When you are attracted to someone, you only see the good in them and willingly set aside minor things you do not like about that person.

Interracial dating is being accepted in most parts of the world, but still there are disgruntled racists who have animosity towards interracial relationships. These people will always try to influence others and discourage interracial relationships with unfounded myths and stories. Dating within your own race has been happening historically, but with the steady flow of immigrants from other part of the world, the number of interracial dating in the United States and many countries has increased.

Though it is generally said that racist are conservative in their minds and open-minded people are liberals, this isn’t necessarily true. This generalization cannot be applied to all the people living in historically conservative and liberal states.

There are some places which welcome interracial couple with open arms without showing any inhibitions or hatred towards such relationships, but that does not mean you won’t encounter individuals who are against it.

Most Bay areas are blessed with people who are open-minded. At times people in the conservative areas are misrepresented, but it is generally true that these areas are less welcoming of interracial couples than areas which are traditionally liberal, such as the Bay areas, New York and Los Angeles. Countries like Canada and New Zealand also tend to be accepting of interracial couples.

It is a fact that with the changing times and technology, black men are more likely to marry a person from another ethnicity or race than black women. While the city of New York and Los Angeles may boast of having more interracial relationships, Canada and New Zealand are not far behind them. The reason may be due to the fact that they are cool places for interracial dating and raising kids of mixed races. On a cursory glance, if you look at the people living in the bay area you are bound to notice that large numbers of couples are from different races.

London among other cities of world has the most diverse population and people are very open-minded about interracial dating as well as using interracial dating sites. Likewise, Sydney in Australia could be considered as another cool city for such activities.

 

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What makes interracial dating the best?

It’s 2016 and if you still haven’t explored the interracial dating segment, you’re missing on something really amazing. It is surprising that a lot of people continue to seek the company of a person of the same race when they can explore a completely different world by connecting with someone of a different racial background. Interracial dating is as difficult as it was a few decades ago. Thanks to the inception of specialist interracial dating sites, people can now get in touch with those looking to date outside their race and explore unchartered terrains.

Here are a few reasons why interracial dating is the best:

People who seek mixed relationships are confident and who doesn’t like confidence?

It takes a fair deal of courage to date someone of a different race than you. It also shows that you’re very confident and don’t care about what others think. Besides, it also shows you’re oozing with confidence, given the fact that not many people would go out of the box and get into an interracial relationship, especially when they know the kind of criticism they face.

You become a head turner

You cannot ignore interracial couples, regardless of how many you’ve seen earlier. Every interracial couple looks different and you just can’t help having a look at them. The same is applicable to others around you. You make a striking couple. However, you’d have to be cautious about negative attention but you’d soon learn to ignore them. On the other hand, you’d receive a fair deal of positive attention as well.

Expose yourself to a different point of view

When you surround yourself with people who belong to different cultures and racial backgrounds, you become open to a host of different perspective and tend to look at things from a different point of view. Besides, it would allow you to learn what others tend to think and what the reason behind their different opinions is. This would eventually make you open – minded and tolerant towards others’ viewpoints.

Tons of options

When you are open to dating any individual, regardless of his / her race and only look for essential traits and how well you get along, your chances of finding a match spike considerably. When you tend to have more restricts, you actually diminish your prospects of finding the perfect life companion. In other words, the lesser the number of filters you implement, the higher are your chances of connecting with the right audience.

The aforementioned points shed light on the advantages of why you would be open to the idea of interracial dating. There is something special in the concept of interracial dating that makes it stand out and one cannot just ignore how amazing it feels to connect with a person of another race.

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Why Many Black and White Dating Relationships Don’t Work

Cute couple of the day

The sad fact is, many black and white relationships start out with a sizzle and then end in an explosion of grief. Why does this happen? The attraction is real, at least at first, then eventually you descend into arguing, fighting and maybe even a breakup. What is the cause for unhappy endings with black women white men dating or white women dating black men?

To be fair, sometimes certain couples are incompatible and it has nothing to do with race or cultural differences. Maybe they are simply a bad match in terms of their personality and values, even though the physical attraction is strong.

Sometimes, however, there are issues in interracial relationships that can make it challenging for you. Consider some scenarios and how to deal with them.

1.You want to flirt with interracial dating, but are not committed.

It’s pretty common to desire someone physically but then take a step back when you realize commitment is a serious issue. There’s no way to avoid this and you should definitely not settle for a relationship that you’re not passionate about. However, be careful not to make any promises you can’t keep or lead a person on romantically if you’re just looking to have fun.

2. Their family or your family is getting to you.

Sometimes families and friends can be critical. We say it doesn’t matter what they think, but deep down it does. You have to determine in advance that you have the strength, bravery, and most of all the patience to deal with differing opinions. You can’t easily disown your family for thinking the way that they do. But you also can’t let their opinions subtly influence you in ways that may hurt your partner’s feelings. The best thing to do is to make an honest assessment of yourself and determine what you want in a relationship and what you can give. You should also determine in advance what to say to people who may not approve of your relationship.

3. One partner is not supportive enough.

Understand that when family tension is apparent, you need to be strong and very emotionally supportive of your partner. They may feel attacked or undervalued. If you are oblivious to the negativity coming from a parent, friend or relative they will sense this and the relationship will be strained. Sometimes it might not even be family. Sometimes it might be strangers out in public or even the minority community harassing you or your partner. Make sure your partner feels loved and supported.

4. Don’t let jealousy destroy you.

You may be surprised to learn that some other interracial couples, or individuals who date outside their race, may be judgmental or try to influence you. They usually do this because of their own experiences, while not stopping to consider that your circumstances are probably very different than theirs. So always be polite, but do keep in mind that when friends try to evaluate your relationship and give you unsolicited advice it can often cause more problems than it cures.

5. Don’t buy into stereotypes.

Stereotypes may be based on a sliver of truth, but that “truth” never holds for all. Sadly, so many people try to act “against stereotype” or sometimes they may even want their partner to be more of a stereotype. This is all just ridiculous and the only way to ensure your relationship survives the long-term is to stop worrying so much about how other people act and instead focus on each.

Keeping these interracial dating tips in mind will help you avoid obstacles along the way to your happiness.

 

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Things You Cannot Lie About When Having an Interracial Relationship

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The truth is having an interracial dating or black  relationship will always carry the risk of courting controversy, whether from your local community or even from your own family members.  This will undoubtedly cause stress in your relationship and may very quickly test your resolve to make this relationship work.

Many will follow their instincts to lie when suffering through relationship turmoil, figuring that revealing the truth may be too touchor controversial.  The problem is that lying will only double the anxiety you have, adding mistrust and hurt feelings as well.

While lying is always dishonest and dangerous here are some specific lies that you should never tell, given the already delicate situation you’re in.

  1. Never lie to family or to your partner about the relationship.

Your instinct may be to protect your partner or your family by not talking about your interracial union.  Maybe you figure you will postpone the conversation until you’re ready to have it.  However, this can cause major problems, especially if you are caught lying, or if your family discovers the secret of your new mixed race partner without you saying a word about it.  It’s simply more mature and less scandalous to confess to your family immediately that you are pursuing this relationship, and to your partner, letting them know that your family may be uneasy about the romance.  Keeping things honest and forthright will always improve good communication.

  1. Never lie about photographs and appearances.

This is all the more important in interracial romance because no one wants to have their feelings hurt, especially in person.  It’s a hard fact of life that some people are just not physically attracted to other people.  If people are clear about who they are and what they look like upfront, there won’t have to be an awkward meeting where one partner realizes—after the date has begun—that there is no attraction.  Why, some people have even lied about their race altogether!  You can guess how sourly those dates ended.

It’s a recipe for disaster and explosive feelings.  Therefore, don’t exaggerate or minimize your unique look.  Always use a recent photograph and show your face clearly along with your body type via full picture.  Be proud of who you are!

You might also consider talking on Skype, Facetime or another video chat program with voice that allows you to see the person in “real time”.  This will prevent any misunderstandings and ensure you’re both on the same page.

  1. Don’t lie about your background, personality or level of knowledge.

It might be tempting to tell a white lie if you’re trying to impress somebody for the first time, but lying in most circumstances is a terrible idea.  Sometimes you may feel tempted to pretend to know more about culture, language or politics than you actually know.  Sure, it’s understandable.  Your partner is smitten with you and loves listening to you educate them as to your unique culture.  However, if you keep bluffing, eventually your partner will figure it out and you will lose all trust and dignity.  If you think your partner is genuinely interesting in learning more about your culture and you don’t actually know that much about it, then by all means, read!  Give your curious partner some information that will blow his / her mind.

  1. Don’t lie about major lifestyle complications, figuring it’s unimportant.  It IS!

It’s true that love and marriage are supposed to be in sickness and in health, but get real!  It’s not at all honest to hide important information like huge debt that you’re trying to work your way out of, or a serious health condition that will require many hours of medical care per week.  What about children that you have from past relationships, who may or may not be living with you?

And you should definitely be clear about your marital status as well as your sexual activity outside of this relationship.  If your partner believes that you two are exclusive and you’re still having sex with other people, it’s a major violation of trust and could even lead your partner open to the threat of STDs.

When in doubt be honest.  Confidence is sexy.  Mystery is sexy.  But stubbornly refusing to tell the truth is juvenile!

 

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Cultural Sensitivity in Interracial Dating

interracial dating

 

One of the biggest issues that may happen in interracial dating is that the people involved don’t understand the cultures that each person is coming from. Whether it’s black women dating white men, or Hispanic men dating single white women, you know that there are things are going to differ from each of their backgrounds. Let’s a take a look at some of the most important things that you will want to consider if you are in an interracial relationship.

Don’t make assumptions. One of the biggest mistakes that you can make when it comes to dating someone is to make assumptions based on stereotypes or other information that you may think that you know. Let the information come right from your loved one – they may be more different than you realize, or they may end up not being different at all. If you make assumptions about anything, you could end up offending the woman or man that you’re dating because they may feel insulted by or sensitive to the assumption in question.

Ask questions if you don’t understand something. Sometimes, you just aren’t going to get why someone does something in a certain way or why they may have a certain opinion about something. In those cases, feel free to ask questions that you feel comfortable asking. Talk to them about those differences and try to understand how it will work. On top of that, be respectful when you ask those questions – if you sound stand-offish or irritated, it’s not going to bode well for your relationship as time goes on. That brings us to our next point…

Be open to individual differences that may seem strange or different. Many people are of the mindset that their way is the right way and they don’t have to be open to anyone else’s way of doing things. This is a terribly misguided way to think about things, and you may close yourself off to finding the person that you are meant to be with. Because of that, you want to make sure that you are open minded and that you’re ready to see things from their point of view. Don’t make fun of things or make them feel silly because they do this certain thing this certain way. This brings us to the last point, which is…

Experience the culture with them whenever you have the opportunity. One of the best ways to understand and/or learn more about where the person you’re dating has come from is by experiencing it with them. Go to a family meal, spend time at a celebration that they have, go to a festival, or celebrate a holiday with them that you may not celebrate in your background. There are so many different things that you can do together that will lead you into a deeper understanding of that world that you should take the chance to do so whenever you have the ability to do so.

As you can see, there are a lot of different things that you can think about when it comes to cultural sensitivity. But also, just because you are of different racial backgrounds, it doesn’t necessarily mean that your lives are that much different. Learning about the background of your partner can bring its own rewards, no matter how different or similar that they may be. Which of these techniques and tricks have these have tried out for yourself? Have you seen a big difference when it comes to your own interracial dating life? Discuss it in the comments and let us know what you think!

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Where White Women Looking For Black Men Can Be Found

White Women Looking For Black Men

White women black men dating is becoming less and less of a stigma each day. People of all races and nationalities have started to date each other and mixed race children are more common than ever before. Despite all this, black men often still struggle to find the perfect white girl that is open to dating black men. There are certain methods that work better than others and we’ll be discussing them here.

Firstly, ask yourself why you want to date a white woman? Is it because you’re truly attracted to them, or because you see it as some type of achievement? If you treat your white love interest as some sort of a trophy or prey that is being hunted, she’ll immediately be put off, unless she has similar motives. Most white girls don’t want to be used just so you can say that you’ve dated a white girl. They want a real, loving relationship, just like any other race of women. White girls can be approached for casual dating, but they will not appreciate being disrespected and treated as an option.

Approach white women in the same way that you’d approach a woman of your own race (assuming that you respect women of your own race). Don’t open the conversation by mentioning races or anything like that. Simply get to know her and let her get to know you. You will likely be facing a lot of rejection if you’re approaching white girls at random, but don’t get discouraged. Most people still prefer to date within their own race for many reasons, mostly to do with family. Trying to argue against it is a waste of time and will get you nowhere. Instead, use your energy to approach another girl who will be interested in dating you.

If you’re sick of striking out, the best option for making sure you only approach white girls who are open to dating black men is through online dating. You can use white women black men dating apps or dating apps specifically aimed at interracial couples. Using the latter will definitely get you more results and guarantee that you have a couple of dates lined up within hours of signing up. All the same rules of approaching white women in public still apply to approaching them online. Don’t start off with lewd comments (unless she stated that she’s open to that on her profile), but instead get to know her and set up a date first.

Once you’ve got the date, the hard part is over. Now all there is left to do is go to the date and have a good time.