Interracial marriage used to be illegal around 50 years ago in the United States, though now things have changed. People have become more accepting of interracial dating, but there will still be a few people who will make the interracial couple uncomfortable by asking them difficult questions. Sometimes people are genuinely concerned and ask such questions, but it may still be hard for the interracial couple to answer them. This is especially true if they are just in the initial phase and are bombarded with questions. Here are some questions interracial couples are tired of hearing and may not be comfortable answering.
1. What does your family think about your partner?
This is a very personal question and you should definitely not ask this if you hardly know the couple. Family views of an interracial relationship are always complicated and tangled and it is uncomfortable bringing up these issues. This is especially true if the families are not so happy with the relationship. Only ask this question if you are genuinely close to them and are concerned about them. And if they don’t answer, let it go and respect their privacy.
2. You are dating a white woman? Are they really trustworthy?
This applies to all questions involving stereotypes. Most people believe that people from a particular race will all have similar traits and categorize them according to stereotypes. Accordingly, people will believe anything about that person. For example: Asians don’t know how to drive well, white women can’t be trusted, Japanese are emotionless etc. These are all stereotypes. Everyone is different so avoid asking this question. Get to know the couple and then all your doubts will be put to rest.
3. Why go through all the trouble?
You may mean this with good intentions but it can sound racist. Telling people that they should try dating people from the same race sounds like you have something against the other race. Try to avoid asking this or rephrase it in a genuinely-concerned manner.
4. Won’t your children be bullied?
Have faith in today’s day and age and don’t just assume that people will make fun of children whose parents belong to different races. Even if they do, it is not the child’s fault but that of those immature people and it should not stop anyone from being with who they love. Children may be bullied for many reasons and race is not the be all and end all of every conversation.
5. Are you only into that particular race?
This is a very strange question to ask someone unless you are really close to them. People don’t choose a particular race when they are born and they certainly don’t choose an entire race to date. They may be slightly more attracted to people of a particular color or race but that doesn’t mean that they only date people from that race. The main thing to understand is that race is not the priority here; rather it is the mutual feeling of love and attraction.
These are some questions you should definitely avoid asking couples in an interracial relationship; or only ask them if you are sure they are comfortable enough to talk about it.