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The Pros and Cons of Interracial Dating

Of course, we all believe in equality. Interracial dating is, quite frankly, the reason we are all here today. We are merely the offspring of many interracial and multi-ethnic peoples mating and continuing the species. Dating a person of a different race actually helps with genetic diversity and is only helping to prolong and improve the human gene pool.

That said, not every person is up for the challenge of dating someone from another culture or even another color. Sometimes a person is just not attracted and so it’s a matter of preference.

Sometimes, however, a partner might decide that although interracial dating was fun, a long-term commitment might be too challenging. You might call these issues the “cons” of dating someone from another race. It doesn’t make it right and it’s certainly not kind, but it’s a cruel truth of this world.

Cons

You may have relatives, friends or work acquaintances that disapprove of the relationship. This can lead to turmoil and emotional pain. Even if you decide to keep seeing your partner, you may have to contend with family divisions. You may also have to deal with occasional funny looks from stranger or mean-spirited humor coming from friends and work colleagues. It’s something you might want to prepare yourself for, so that you won’t be caught off guard if you hear someone making a racist statement or using a hurtful stereotype.

Pros

The pros however, far outweigh the cons in most cases. Dating outside of your race exposes you to new culture, lifestyles, rituals and maybe even recipes that you will love. Dating a person of another race lets you learn and feel connected with someone you’re strongly attracted to.

If there are any friends or family members who have a problem, consider this an opportunity to enlighten them and show them that there’s nothing to be afraid of.

The good news is that although racism is still prevalent today, it’s not as widespread as it was in and before the 1960s. Racists usually keep quiet since they are the minority now. Most surveys of millennials, baby boomers and generation x-ers agree that most people today are perfectly fine with interracial dating.

It’s also easier than ever before to meet someone in your preferred race category. Using black women white men dating sites or apps, you can meet people in your area who have been prescreened to enjoy interracial dating.

This is a more productive way of mingling with other singles. If you go to a bar or go through a mainstream dating site you might, unfortunately, find people that do not date people outside of their race.

Some of these insensitive types will say so on their profiles, whereas others will “friend-zone” you quickly because of their own shortsightedness.

No matter. With a modern dating app, you can do a targeted search of people who are interested in dating people of any race (or your race specifically) and do want to meet you. That will make your first date together so much more exciting!

 

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Things to Remember when Dating outside your Race

When you start up a new relationship, there are many feelings to process. From excitement to anxiety, to ultimate happiness to nervousness, the beginning phases of a relationship are a time worth remembering. Whoever you are dating, there are going to be certain things you need to keep in your mind. When two people come together from different walks of life, patience and compromise are required to make sure you can invest in a happy future together. This is particularly true when it comes to dating someone from a different racial or ethnic background than you.

Dating outside your race brings with it cultural interest and potential for learning moments with someone you deeply care about. Interracial dating is much more socially acceptable now and less frowned upon. However, as with any relationship, you need to remain sensitive and understanding to your partner.

To give you guidance and support in your interracial relationship, bear in mind some of the following tips.

Race does make a difference

The difference that race makes isn’t necessarily a bad one. Societal judgement and stereotypes can make dating outside your race seem like a bad thing. While there will be cultural differences, there is nothing wrong with this. In fact, interracial dating can become much more about sharing values, customs, and histories of your own race. Learning from your partner is a beautiful bonding experience.

There may be societal judgements

The truth is that we live in a socially judgmental world. While the world is much more of a melting pot today than it was in the past, there are still misconceptions about dating outside your race. Just bear in the mind that most of the negative judgement will come from older generations. Different generations have different expectations about relationships and dating. There may be some disapproval in your family even. Nonetheless, it is important to have confidence in your relationship around your family and in wider society.

Meeting the family is inevitably more complicated

There is always pressure when meeting your partner’s family under any circumstances. When you have to take into account the fact that your partner’s parents may speak a different language, have very different social outlooks, and have different religious practices than you, it can be even more intimidating. It is important to always be respectful when meeting your partner’s parents. Talk with your partner before the event occurs and make sure you know certain topics to steer away from. Respect and politeness is the ultimate goal in this scenario.

Prepare for some stupid questions

Once again, society has a strange perspective on interracial dating. This may lead to certain people asking ignorant and plain dumb questions. Even some of your friends may ask things that are essentially irrelevant. Some of these questions may include: what do you think your children will look like; what do your parents think; isn’t it easier to date within your race. Whatever the question is, just remember that your happiness is the answer in the end. If someone makes you happy, nothing should stand in the way of being together. Especially societal ignorance!

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Black Women Dating White Men – Is it a Fad Or is This Mixed up Trend Here to Stay?

Interracial couple sharing a phone in a train station while wait under an umbrella in a rainy day

Interracial dating has been a taboo subject in the past, even more so if it involves black women dating white men. Many of these interracial couples are often stigmatized and not generally accepted in society. However, with the rising popularity of movies which feature black women dating white men such as ‘Lakeview Terrace’, ‘Something New’, ‘Guess Who’ and many others, there has been increased acceptance for these couples in mainstream media. Despite a few people being bothered by black-white dating, people are increasingly changing their attitude and becoming more open-minded towards these interracial relationships.

So far, one of the most prevalent challenges a black woman faces while dating a white man is the cultural difference between the two races. In fact, it is not uncommon for the couple to be faced with vehement societal pressure and many deep-rooted prejudices. More often, the greatest opposition is bound to come from the couple’s family members and even close friends. In such cases, the family tends to openly oppose the interracial relationship since they fear that it will paint a negative image of the family in society. Many families are afraid of being judged by friends and extended family members when one of their children dates a person who is black. They also fret about their grand children being mixed race.  All these concerns are common and will probably be mentioned by the family of someone involved in an interracial relationship.

What about the societal pressure that comes from the black community when their daughter is dating a white man? The black woman will be judged as being a traitor and a “sell-out” who has abandoned her brothers. While men from the same community abandon the black women to date women from other races, it is ironic that the women involved in interracial dating in the same community will be ostracized. It is usually a common expectation that the black women dating white men should have waited for black men to return to them and be satisfied with being their partners instead of moving ahead to expanding their love options and entering into an interracial relationship. This double standard is completely unfair, since black men are known to openly state that they only date white women.

While it is true to note that many interracial relationships are faced with some trials and tribulations, there are quite a number of them that have successfully carried on with their relationship and are happily married. For such couples, they opted to ignore the external pressures and instead, move ahead to discover the many amazing benefits that came from learning, accepting each other’s culture and subsequently choosing to live a happy life together.

Interracial dating sites have been one of the major contributors of successful black women-white men relationships. With a plethora of dating sites created with the sole aim of connecting black women who want to date white men with white men who want to date black women, couples can link-up via the internet and successfully be able to establish a relationship. Today, interracial couples are connecting from all over the globe 24/7 and finding the partner of their dreams.

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6 things you should not do when you are seeking a black partner

Interracial dating can be a magical experience, but there are some lines that should never be crossed. This is especially true if you’re looking to date a black man or woman. While you should never feel like you’re constantly walking on eggshells when you’re in a relationship, there are certain topics and behaviors that are best avoided, especially at the start of your relationship. The following list will hopefully help you be a better partner to your black love interest.

  1. Talking about your races

This is something best avoided during the early stages and should only be discussed if your black partner starts the conversation. Conversing with a partner who you’ve been with for a while about this is fine, but it should never ever be a topic of discussion when meeting or visiting their family. You might think it will show how non-racist you are by mentioning it, but it’s more likely to offend.

  1. Stick to your native languages

Unless you were raised in the same area and speak the same languages, don’t try to strike up a conversation with someone in their native tongue if you aren’t a native speaker. At best, it can come off as being a bit clueless and condescending and at worst they might think that you are ridiculing them. Either way, avoid it for the first few dates.

  1. Try to avoid talking about cultural differences

This one is tricky. If you’ve been with your black partner for a while, you’ll have to partake in some of these cultural traditions sooner or later. By that point in time though, your relationship and mutual respect will be strong enough to withstand potential conflict.

At the beginning of the relationship or during the courting process, it’s a topic best avoided. Talking about cultural differences usually leads to arguments about whose culture does things better. Remember that there is no ‘better’ culture, only different cultures.

  1. Avoid taking them to events that you know they’ll dislike

This depends on who you are. Taking the extreme example, let’s assume you’re a redneck from a notoriously white and racist small town that regularly has square dancing events. Not only will your black partner not fit in at all, but they will most likely face harassment. You’ll struggle to find a black man or woman that enjoys square dancing too.

  1. Don’t marry before meeting each other’s families

Many people with black partners often get married before telling their parents that their partners are black. You might be scared of their reactions and this is fine, but they will definitely not be willing to accept your partner if you don’t include them in your wedding. Introduce your partner to your parents first and then let them decide whether or not they want to be a part of your lives. You’d be surprised to find how quickly prejudice fades away once they get to know your partner.

  1. Don’t be sensitive

You might think you’ve been discriminated against in the past, but you’ll be facing a lot more discrimination when you’re with your black partner. Be prepared for stares and rude comments, but don’t reply to them or let them affect you. Having a thick skin is crucial in an interracial relationship.

 

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Questions interracial couples don’t want to hear

Interracial marriage used to be illegal around 50 years ago in the United States, though now things have changed. People have become more accepting of interracial dating, but there will still be a few people who will make the interracial couple uncomfortable by asking them difficult questions. Sometimes people are genuinely concerned and ask such questions, but it may still be hard for the interracial couple to answer them. This is especially true if they are just in the initial phase and are bombarded with questions. Here are some questions interracial couples are tired of hearing and may not be comfortable answering.

1. What does your family think about your partner?

This is a very personal question and you should definitely not ask this if you hardly know the couple. Family views of an interracial relationship are always complicated and tangled and it is uncomfortable bringing up these issues. This is especially true if the families are not so happy with the relationship. Only ask this question if you are genuinely close to them and are concerned about them. And if they don’t answer, let it go and respect their privacy.

2. You are dating a white woman? Are they really trustworthy?

This applies to all questions involving stereotypes. Most people believe that people from a particular race will all have similar traits and categorize them according to stereotypes. Accordingly, people will believe anything about that person. For example: Asians don’t know how to drive well, white women can’t be trusted, Japanese are emotionless etc. These are all stereotypes. Everyone is different so avoid asking this question. Get to know the couple and then all your doubts will be put to rest.

3. Why go through all the trouble?

You may mean this with good intentions but it can sound racist. Telling people that they should try dating people from the same race sounds like you have something against the other race. Try to avoid asking this or rephrase it in a genuinely-concerned manner.

4. Won’t your children be bullied?

Have faith in today’s day and age and don’t just assume that people will make fun of children whose parents belong to different races. Even if they do, it is not the child’s fault but that of those immature people and it should not stop anyone from being with who they love. Children may be bullied for many reasons and race is not the be all and end all of every conversation.

5. Are you only into that particular race?

This is a very strange question to ask someone unless you are really close to them. People don’t choose a particular race when they are born and they certainly don’t choose an entire race to date. They may be slightly more attracted to people of a particular color or race but that doesn’t mean that they only date people from that race. The main thing to understand is that race is not the priority here; rather it is the mutual feeling of love and attraction.

These are some questions you should definitely avoid asking couples in an interracial relationship; or only ask them if you are sure they are comfortable enough to talk about it.

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3 Tips For Interracial Couples Facing Judgment

 

We have come a long way since Martin Luther King had a dream and that dream has now become a reality in many ways. In other ways, there is still a lot of progress to be made.

Interracial dating has become common and most people do not really care about race when they like someone. Attraction and love knows no race. As they say “love is blind” which is absolutely true at this point in time. Interracial dating may seem like an enchanting tale of two people from different backgrounds and colors coming together to make love but sometimes they can find themselves facing a lot of judgment.

Judgment is nothing new, but it can be very disheartening for interracial couples. Unfortunately, we still have a long way to go before interracial couples will be as accepted as couples of the same race. This shouldn’t stop true love however. Follow these tips to make your interracial relationship stand the test of time and judgment.

1.Stop concerning yourself with others’ opinions

Everybody, no matter how much they say otherwise, care what people think about them to some degree. And that’s fine. This is what motivates us to do our best and look our best every day. In most cases, it’s positive motivation.
But in the case of interracial judgment, it becomes negative. Deciding not to care what people think about your interracial relationship is crucial. It might be hard at first, especially if the dissenters include your family and friends. The bottom line is that nobody’s opinion on your relationship should matter more than your own opinion and your partner’s opinion.

2.Build a strong relationship

Weak relationships break under pressure and as an interracial couple, you’ll be facing more pressure than most. Always remember what attracted you to your partner in the first place and let all the other politics of it fade away in your mind.

You’ll need a strong relationship to fight the prejudice. By showing people that interracial relationships can be strong, loving and secure just like any other relationship, you might even change a few minds about the matter.

3.Make effort to be a part of your partner’s family

This one can be difficult, especially if they’re extremely against your relationship. But in the case that they do grant you the opportunity to visit for a holiday or other event, make sure you show them that you’re willing to work with them in order to make your partner happy. Your partner should do the same.

By taking part in their customs and traditions and remaining as polite and friendly as you would be with your own parents, their preconceived notions of what your race group is like will be proven wrong and they’ll gradually start to accept the relationship. This doesn’t mean you should allow them to disrespect you. In the case that they’re completely racist and unwilling to change, it might be better to cut your losses. Your partner will understand.

In conclusion, it’s clear to see that we all still have a long way to go when it comes to combating racial bias. Hopefully by the time you have children it will be a thing of the past.

 

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Are Interracial Relationships Approved by God?

Have you ever wondered how God feels about black white dating or culture?  Some misconceptions exist as to whether God disapproves of interracial relationships.  For example, some extremist or fundamentalist religions may ban marrying someone of another race.  The Ku Klux Klan often cites religious motivations in keeping races “pure”.

What the Bible Says About Black or White Dating

However, if you base your reasoning exclusively on the bible, which is the recognized authority of most Christian religions, there’s really no reason to fear interracial dating.  According to the creation account in Genesis, all human beings descended from Adam and Eve.  Eventually the sons of Noah, Ham, Shem and Jephthah, birthed the various “races” of human beings, who would further be influenced by their location – the east, the middle east and eventually the western world.

Acts 17:24-26 further explains this when it says “And [God] hath made of one blood all nations of men to dwell on all the face of the earth.”  So whatever God creates, including the different races of human beings, is a good thing in His eyes.  God cannot create something evil or disapproved of—human beings make themselves disapproved by their behavior.

Why the Day of Pentecost is Meaningful

Many who oppose interracial relationships forget the entire point of Pentecost 33 C.E., when God’s holy spirit was poured upon a gathering of Christians.  This was done with the specific intent of welcoming gentiles into the favor of God, and not giving only Jews the chance to atone to redemption.  Now Jews and gentiles would be welcomed to partake in the congregation.  Eventually, even the Jewish law of circumcision, as a way of proving one’s self in subjection to God, was done away with about 20 years later, when it was decided that faith by works proved loyalty to God—not simply one’s race.  In the account of Acts 8:26, it was also said that Philip baptized an Ethiopian man, and he was obviously a black man.

Therefore, the idea that God doesn’t approve of interracial dating is mainly a thought from early white supremacist ideologies.  While it’s true some of these organizations may have tried to infiltrate religion, the original intent of the bible was all about acceptance and showing respect to people of other races.

What is Important

It’s true that the idea of becoming “unevenly yoked” with a person you’re dating can be dangerous.  But this is in reference to marrying someone who doesn’t believe what you believe and doesn’t share your faith in God.  This can be dangerous to your faith and it will definitely creating a stressful environment.  You won’t be able to confide your deepest spiritual thoughts with a mate who doesn’t understand your faith.  This is why it’s important to find a partner that you’re compatible with intellectually and spiritually.

Interracial dating sites can help you in this regard.  Finding an attractive person who is also a member of a Christian church or faith is a great way to start your “evenly yoked” union.

 

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The Best Locations For Interracial Dating

Are you dating a person of another race or you are inclined towards interracial dating? In both cases; this article will help you to have a better idea of the problems and solutions of such dating. When you are attracted to someone, you only see the good in them and willingly set aside minor things you do not like about that person.

Interracial dating is being accepted in most parts of the world, but still there are disgruntled racists who have animosity towards interracial relationships. These people will always try to influence others and discourage interracial relationships with unfounded myths and stories. Dating within your own race has been happening historically, but with the steady flow of immigrants from other part of the world, the number of interracial dating in the United States and many countries has increased.

Though it is generally said that racist are conservative in their minds and open-minded people are liberals, this isn’t necessarily true. This generalization cannot be applied to all the people living in historically conservative and liberal states.

There are some places which welcome interracial couple with open arms without showing any inhibitions or hatred towards such relationships, but that does not mean you won’t encounter individuals who are against it.

Most Bay areas are blessed with people who are open-minded. At times people in the conservative areas are misrepresented, but it is generally true that these areas are less welcoming of interracial couples than areas which are traditionally liberal, such as the Bay areas, New York and Los Angeles. Countries like Canada and New Zealand also tend to be accepting of interracial couples.

It is a fact that with the changing times and technology, black men are more likely to marry a person from another ethnicity or race than black women. While the city of New York and Los Angeles may boast of having more interracial relationships, Canada and New Zealand are not far behind them. The reason may be due to the fact that they are cool places for interracial dating and raising kids of mixed races. On a cursory glance, if you look at the people living in the bay area you are bound to notice that large numbers of couples are from different races.

London among other cities of world has the most diverse population and people are very open-minded about interracial dating as well as using interracial dating sites. Likewise, Sydney in Australia could be considered as another cool city for such activities.

 

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Why Many Black and White Dating Relationships Don’t Work

Cute couple of the day

The sad fact is, many black and white relationships start out with a sizzle and then end in an explosion of grief. Why does this happen? The attraction is real, at least at first, then eventually you descend into arguing, fighting and maybe even a breakup. What is the cause for unhappy endings with black women white men dating or white women dating black men?

To be fair, sometimes certain couples are incompatible and it has nothing to do with race or cultural differences. Maybe they are simply a bad match in terms of their personality and values, even though the physical attraction is strong.

Sometimes, however, there are issues in interracial relationships that can make it challenging for you. Consider some scenarios and how to deal with them.

1.You want to flirt with interracial dating, but are not committed.

It’s pretty common to desire someone physically but then take a step back when you realize commitment is a serious issue. There’s no way to avoid this and you should definitely not settle for a relationship that you’re not passionate about. However, be careful not to make any promises you can’t keep or lead a person on romantically if you’re just looking to have fun.

2. Their family or your family is getting to you.

Sometimes families and friends can be critical. We say it doesn’t matter what they think, but deep down it does. You have to determine in advance that you have the strength, bravery, and most of all the patience to deal with differing opinions. You can’t easily disown your family for thinking the way that they do. But you also can’t let their opinions subtly influence you in ways that may hurt your partner’s feelings. The best thing to do is to make an honest assessment of yourself and determine what you want in a relationship and what you can give. You should also determine in advance what to say to people who may not approve of your relationship.

3. One partner is not supportive enough.

Understand that when family tension is apparent, you need to be strong and very emotionally supportive of your partner. They may feel attacked or undervalued. If you are oblivious to the negativity coming from a parent, friend or relative they will sense this and the relationship will be strained. Sometimes it might not even be family. Sometimes it might be strangers out in public or even the minority community harassing you or your partner. Make sure your partner feels loved and supported.

4. Don’t let jealousy destroy you.

You may be surprised to learn that some other interracial couples, or individuals who date outside their race, may be judgmental or try to influence you. They usually do this because of their own experiences, while not stopping to consider that your circumstances are probably very different than theirs. So always be polite, but do keep in mind that when friends try to evaluate your relationship and give you unsolicited advice it can often cause more problems than it cures.

5. Don’t buy into stereotypes.

Stereotypes may be based on a sliver of truth, but that “truth” never holds for all. Sadly, so many people try to act “against stereotype” or sometimes they may even want their partner to be more of a stereotype. This is all just ridiculous and the only way to ensure your relationship survives the long-term is to stop worrying so much about how other people act and instead focus on each.

Keeping these interracial dating tips in mind will help you avoid obstacles along the way to your happiness.

 

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Things You Cannot Lie About When Having an Interracial Relationship

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The truth is having an interracial dating or black  relationship will always carry the risk of courting controversy, whether from your local community or even from your own family members.  This will undoubtedly cause stress in your relationship and may very quickly test your resolve to make this relationship work.

Many will follow their instincts to lie when suffering through relationship turmoil, figuring that revealing the truth may be too touchor controversial.  The problem is that lying will only double the anxiety you have, adding mistrust and hurt feelings as well.

While lying is always dishonest and dangerous here are some specific lies that you should never tell, given the already delicate situation you’re in.

  1. Never lie to family or to your partner about the relationship.

Your instinct may be to protect your partner or your family by not talking about your interracial union.  Maybe you figure you will postpone the conversation until you’re ready to have it.  However, this can cause major problems, especially if you are caught lying, or if your family discovers the secret of your new mixed race partner without you saying a word about it.  It’s simply more mature and less scandalous to confess to your family immediately that you are pursuing this relationship, and to your partner, letting them know that your family may be uneasy about the romance.  Keeping things honest and forthright will always improve good communication.

  1. Never lie about photographs and appearances.

This is all the more important in interracial romance because no one wants to have their feelings hurt, especially in person.  It’s a hard fact of life that some people are just not physically attracted to other people.  If people are clear about who they are and what they look like upfront, there won’t have to be an awkward meeting where one partner realizes—after the date has begun—that there is no attraction.  Why, some people have even lied about their race altogether!  You can guess how sourly those dates ended.

It’s a recipe for disaster and explosive feelings.  Therefore, don’t exaggerate or minimize your unique look.  Always use a recent photograph and show your face clearly along with your body type via full picture.  Be proud of who you are!

You might also consider talking on Skype, Facetime or another video chat program with voice that allows you to see the person in “real time”.  This will prevent any misunderstandings and ensure you’re both on the same page.

  1. Don’t lie about your background, personality or level of knowledge.

It might be tempting to tell a white lie if you’re trying to impress somebody for the first time, but lying in most circumstances is a terrible idea.  Sometimes you may feel tempted to pretend to know more about culture, language or politics than you actually know.  Sure, it’s understandable.  Your partner is smitten with you and loves listening to you educate them as to your unique culture.  However, if you keep bluffing, eventually your partner will figure it out and you will lose all trust and dignity.  If you think your partner is genuinely interesting in learning more about your culture and you don’t actually know that much about it, then by all means, read!  Give your curious partner some information that will blow his / her mind.

  1. Don’t lie about major lifestyle complications, figuring it’s unimportant.  It IS!

It’s true that love and marriage are supposed to be in sickness and in health, but get real!  It’s not at all honest to hide important information like huge debt that you’re trying to work your way out of, or a serious health condition that will require many hours of medical care per week.  What about children that you have from past relationships, who may or may not be living with you?

And you should definitely be clear about your marital status as well as your sexual activity outside of this relationship.  If your partner believes that you two are exclusive and you’re still having sex with other people, it’s a major violation of trust and could even lead your partner open to the threat of STDs.

When in doubt be honest.  Confidence is sexy.  Mystery is sexy.  But stubbornly refusing to tell the truth is juvenile!